MENTORSHIP FOR YOUTH

Our societies are finely tuned to creating structure for the training of humans who will contribute to the continuation of the system and economy through imparting knowledge and technological or practical skills. What our societies are not good at is to harness the uniqueness and individuality of each human being in order for everyone to contribute from their own place of creativity, joy and meaning, and therefore to foster belonging, community, purpose and deep human support. And what our societies have completely lost along the way, are the traditional ways young people were guided from the immature and innocent realities of being a child to what it means to take responsibility for oneself and prosper within and without as an adult.

THE INITIATION

The movement from youth to adult in traditional societies involved some form of initiation and ritual movement from being a child to taking one's place amongst adults. It involved learning, training, challenge and resilience. It was guided through pain, support, nature, real-life circumstance. And it brought experience, understanding and mastery. It involved elders and those that had deep wisdom from true life experience. An it meant being shown how to handle things, observing those that already knew the way, and learning from those adults that most closely resembled and lived one's own gifts and abilities.

Wanting to take one's place in the group or the tribe and seeing the adult world as something to aspire to and grow into, was the natural position of young people.

THE CHALLENGE

In our world, young people typically only spend time with, and learn from, one or two adults: their parents. Teachers don't have the time and capacity for true follow-up and connection. And the extended family no longer plays the role of child-rearing support or mentorship. Lucky are those children with involved and wise grand parents who take an active role in their grandchildren's lives. In addition, our world idealises the reality of young people. Mainstream culture emphasises the life-style of young adults and celebrates looks, image, narcisism, self-absorption, fitting in and expressions that naturally fade with age. There are few ideals rooted in wisdom and maturity. And adults wish to be and emulate the young instead. It's lopsided, yet no wonder: why would those growing up wish to be like those that came before? They look at the failures and break-down of this world and see no reason to follow a path that leads to such lack of responsibility and disconnection.

THE CONNECTION

However, all children and youth long for true connection with grown-ups. After all, all children learn through imitation and by observing those that are older. And they feel deep down that adults are safer, more grounded, more able and better versed than their peers. Given the chance, all young people would seek out real friendship with adults who represent a more mature version of themselves - and who are not their parents. Young people long for adults who can support them to become better versions of themselves and guide them in what is chaotic, confusing or directionless inside themselves and outside in the world.

THE MENTOR

Having a mentor is natural for all human beings. None of us know everything or have all the life skills required. Knowing that and seeking out those that we trust and who we feel can support us, it healthy behaviour. We need someone to talk to and who can hold space for our personal struggles, our emotions and our misunderstandings. We need someone to listen to who have lived life and already passed through the experiences that await all human beings. We need someone who has learned to embody the wisdom of those life experiences and can model and show the way in how to deal with life in practice - not lecture us on their opinions and what they belive we should be doing. We need someone who doesn't know best, but who is fully available and able to remain connected when the going gets rough.

This is the traditional and easy way to become a healthy, able and mature human being in adulthood.

SUPPORTING YOUTH THROUGH COACHING

I am that elder that young people may need in order to believe in themselves and take their individual steps into a meaningful life of purpose and human connection.

I provide a trusting and supportive environment for conversation and connection to happen without the typical grown-up need to lecture or know better.
I show the way in learning to listen inwardly to oneself rather than to the expectations of others in order to foster inner stability and trust in oneself.
I teach emotional maturity and learning to navigate, feel, understand and express emotions in a healthy way that leads to connection and love rather than estrangement and distance to others.
I provide a mature adult who doesn't please and isn't guided by trying to be liked. Instead I model healthy boundaries, self-discipline, self-love and direction.
I mirror manipulative and controlling tendencies to encourage understanding of the true effect of words and behaviours on others.
I guide the movement from the immature victim state and reliance on others, to responsibility, uprightness, integrity and cooperation with others.
I cultivate self-esteem, self-worth, and coming to terms with who the person truly is rather than the one our warped culture and social media tell us to be.

PRACTICAL INFO

-This is an offer to young people aged between 16 and 22. For minors, a parent or guardian will need to be directly involved and also have their own (infrequent) sessions. For those 18 and older, parent/guardian involvement is voluntary and according to the wishes of the mentee. It is however recommended in order to also support the parent/guardian in their growth and capacity to evolve in their own role (but according to the willingness of the mentee).

-Mentorship is a longer-term process of building trust and friendship, and the frequency of sessions tend to be higher than i regular coaching work. I recommend sessions either every week or every other week.

-The autonomy of the mentee is crucial, and the decision and how we organise the meetings, will need to be under the control of the young person involved. Support cannot happen under any form of perceived duress, coercion or guilt-tripping.

-Get in touch to find a format, frequency and commitment that suits you. Well met!